Friday, November 22, 2019

Pity Parties

We all do it, we can't help ourselves, it's just who we are as humans...or, is it? What does it really have to do it a perception of what we think things should be like, or look like, or feel like? Do people that literally have nothing in this world, and have never known any different, have pity parties? I seriously doubt it! Why? Because they don't know things could be "better" for them. In their minds, they have everything...they are alive, they might not know why, but that's all they need to keep them going. I look at photos of people in other countries less "fortunate" than us...they are standing there with the biggest, most beautiful smiles I have ever seen. Right there, at that moment, they have everything. 
When I find myself going down the rabbit hole, I just go look in the mirror and say to myself "shame on are perfect and you have everything you need to be happy" and then I make myself go outside and take in some nature, lay in the leaves, look up in the trees, listen to the birds singing, and think "yes, indeed I do have everything". So when I see someone I know constantly complaining, constantly in woed me mode, constantly asking for prayers, constantly "bitching" basically, about what a horrible life they have, they are sick, they have no money, they need a new car, they need a new phone, they need new shoes, whatever the "complaint du jour" is, it just unnerves me to my very core! Now, don't get me wrong, I'm in no way perfect and I am guilty of throwing myself a pity party on occasion, but not every other day, or once a week! It's not healthy, or helpful for anyone to do that! And it's so interesting this article was in one of my daily reads from "Daily Om"
 "Having a pity party for yourself is alright as long as you learn from it and don't dwell in it for long periods of time.

We all have days when the bad things seem to outweigh the good ones and we begin to think that life isn't fair. You get stuck in traffic, which makes you late for an important meeting, and then your car gets towed. You might ask yourself, "Why me?" Events like this one can test anyone's ability to be grateful and feel optimistic. If you have a tendency to feel sorry for yourself, and many of us do, things usually progress to the next stage: the pity party. You begin to feel like the innocent victim of a dismal fate because you are seeing your life through inaccurate lenses. Most of the thoughts that run through your mind at times like these are not helpful, and they mainly serve to increase your indignation and feelings of powerlessness. What these feelings and thoughts don't do is change your circumstances or make you feel better.

When you have a terrible day, there should definitely be a time and place to have your feelings so you can process them. It's important not to pretend that you are fine with things when you aren't. It's also important, however, to notice when you're having a pity party. It's a good idea to set a time limit in which to fully express your emotions and not feel guilty, ashamed, or judge yourself. Having a friend witness you during this process can be helpful. You may also want to write about your feelings. When your time is up, let go of the negativity you just expressed. You can declare your intention to your friend. If you've written down your feelings, you can burn the piece of paper or throw it in the recycling bin.

Try not to dwell on unpleasant experiences and do everything you can to avoid holding on to negative emotions. When you indulge in self-pity, you only make a bad day worse. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, release the notion that you are a victim, and notice the good that exists in your life." ~ Madison Taylor

So next time you are in a "funk", throw yourself a real party! Invite some friends some cake, drink some wine, laugh, have fun, enjoy your life! You only get once chance! Don't "pity" it away!! Life is good!!
love and peace always ~ Kathy

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