Tuesday, April 25, 2023

The struggle is real...

Had to go sit on my "crying log" today, just so I can try to decompress. Counting out the remaining Xanax pills I have left that a friend gave me and wondering if I have enough left to even get through this day.

Have you had to deal with elderly parents that are hoarders? My Mom won't even answer the phone because she is so mad at me for throwing away her "stuff", even though I assured her the things thrown away were just trash and broken items that are not even usable...and 1/2 empty bottles of pills, cleaning products, beauty products, makeup, shampoo, etc. She even has boxes of things that belong to another family member that moved to another city and he hasn't even called her in over a year. I told her those things certainly need to go...she refuses. Even though she is excited about moving into an assisted living facility, where she will have a 1 bedroom apartment, she is convinced she'll have "room" for all of this garbage she refuses to get rid of. I'm almost at my wits end. She cries and cries and says we just want her to hurry up and die, so we don't have to deal with her anymore, blah de blah. I even asked AI what to do...this is what I got from that prompt:

 Tips and Strategies:
  1. Educate yourself about hoarding disorder: Learn about the causes, symptoms, and treatment options for hoarding disorder. This can help you understand your parents' behavior and find ways to support them.
  1. Communicate with your parents: It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your parents about their hoarding behavior. Let them know that you are concerned for their safety and well-being, and offer your help.
  1. Seek professional help: Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in hoarding disorder. They can provide support and guidance for you and your parents.
  1. Set boundaries: It's important to set boundaries with your parents and establish clear guidelines for their behavior. For example, you may need to limit the amount of time you spend in their home or set rules for what they can keep.
  1. Get support: Dealing with hoarding behavior can be stressful and challenging. Don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or support groups for help and encouragement.
Conclusion: Coping with elderly hoarder parents can be a difficult and emotional journey. But with the right support and strategies, you can find ways to manage the situation and support your loved ones. Remember, you are not alone in this journey.

It's the very last sentence that I need to focus on, because I sure do feel alone in this journey. Even though my awesome Son is helping us so much, it's still a struggle. Any suggestions are appreciated! Thank you!

And, it seems as though every time I ask God for "sign" something shows up! Like this adorable little Buddha my daughter sent to me randomly in the mail yesterday! I needed this so much...it's a sign that says, to me, "you got this" and "you are not alone". Even though today has been a struggle, there's always tomorrow! 

love and peace ~ Kathy

Sunday, April 23, 2023

What do you think about AI technology?


So what do you think about all this AI technology? I thought it was really cool when it first showed up and I use it all the time to edit photographs [like the one above, using Topaz software to create a "painterly" look], but now that it's actually "thinking" for us, I'm not too sure about it. When you can type in "a poem about frogs" and it writes this for you:

"Frogs croak and hop with glee,
 In ponds and streams, they dwell free.
Their skin may be slimy and green, 
But their songs are a joyous scene.

From tadpole to adult they grow, 
In nature's cycle, they flow.
 Their eyes bulge, their legs strong,
 A wonder to behold all along.

Oh, frogs, how you delight, 
In the day and through the night.
 Your presence fills us with peace,
 A reminder of nature's sweet release."

It makes me wonder what we are truly becoming...I spend a lot of time writing poems, writing stories, writing blog posts, etc., so this type of technology has me wondering what, if anything, is left to the imagination? What do you think? [and don't use AI for your answer 🤣]

And Happy Earth Day!

love and peace always ~ Kathy

Tuesday, April 4, 2023

Bear Medicine

This whole year has been so daunting and depressing and feels like nothing will ever get better. Dealing with elderly parents, especially when one of them is having severe mental issues, is exhausting. One day they hate you, the next day they are crying like a baby and apologizing. Something just has to give. I went on a walk through our forest and pulled a few of the wildlife camera cards, just to see if there was anything on them to make my day. It has been a few years since we have seen a bear, so when I saw this big fuzzy wuzzy, I was so stoked! I said, Thank you, God, you know I needed this medicine today. And, ironically, I had been sitting on that chair the same afternoon and the day after that. It's a little chair I have set up by the little pond and I sit there and watch the tadpoles swim. And one of the websites I still get daily emails from is "DailyOm" --- it's amazing how often the messages in their emails is exactly spot on with what I'm feeling/going through. Of course, when I received the following email, it made me very emotional...if you don't think things happen for a reason, you need to think again! Thank you little Bear!! You have no idea how much I needed you!!
We can incorporate bear energy into our lives by remembering to take time to go inward, to rest and rejuvenate in daily mini hibernations.

"When the image of a bear enters our consciousness, we may first notice their size, strength, and power, but beyond their physical attributes lay many traits that can guide us deeper into our experience of life. Their abilities as hunters and powerful protectors of their loved ones are well known, but you may also envision them on a quest for variety as they seek out the flavors and scents of the world, first fishing, then enjoying berries, or braving angry bees to indulge in honey. But their hidden strength lies in the bear’s ability to travel between the physical and spiritual worlds, a talent that is recognized all around the world by those who live in harmony with nature.

One way that bears access their inner world is during hibernation when they find a safe and womb-like environment to let their physical bodies rest while their spirit travels. They travel through time, mentally digesting and learning from their experiences, but they also travel beyond the realm of mind and body into the dreamtime, where they are able to be rejuvenated by the source of all life. In this sacred space, they are connected to physical, mental, and spiritual realms all at once and can find the balance that they need to reenter world.

Polar bears don’t enter a deep state of hibernation like other bears, but instead fluidly cross between realms on the physical plane as well the spiritual. Their reflective, translucent fur makes them difficult to see as they move across the frozen ice, blending into terrain covered with snow, making them seem like they are shimmering between dimensions. They move as easily in water as on land, agile and able in both worlds. They can remind us that we are one with our environment, inseparable from it. They teach us that while we can take time apart to connect with spirit, we can also carry that awareness with us as we move through life, making the spiritual indistinguishable from the material. By aligning ourselves with bear energy, we fully embody the best of all worlds."
Then I found this clump of maple tree "whirly birds" and thought: Every day I'm challenged by more of what God thinks I can handle! Sometimes I wish I could be like a tree and just release everything that no longer serves me --- easier said than done. It's hard, but I'll get through it...I've gotten through much worse.

love and peace always ~ Kathy