Thursday, May 10, 2012

Help! My little boy is carrying a purse!

Happy Thursday, everybody!!  What a beautiful day!  So, you are probably wondering what this post is all about?!?  Well, the wonderful state of North Carolina recently voted to amend the state constitution so that ALL relationships, other than people legally married, would not be viewed as a domestic partnership.  Not only is this "new" amendment affecting gay people, but it's affecting any unmarried couple, even if they have children.  But, of course, the main argument is all about the whole "gay marriage" thing and what the bible says.  My argument is this:
It is not so much "marriage" in the same realm of what the bible says, but "marriage" being an equal right. Call it what you will, marriage, partnership, etc. If two people chose to spend the rest of their lives together as a couple, then they should have the same rights as I do with my husband...that's what it's about. Unfortunately, when the bible was written, there were no "benefits" of a marriage, other than children. Like my best friends Chuck and Van...they have been together for almost 30 years and right now Van is looking for a job and Chuck is working and has benefits. I think Chuck should be able to receive and pay for health benefits for Van as his domestic partner. I also think that Van should be able to collect Social Security under Chuck's name, when he retires. That's my view point and that's what people are all up in arms about. The bible also says many things that people disobey and ignore. In my opinion, when quotes from the bible are used to harm others and hurt peoples feelings, it is certainly not what God or Jesus intended.  
For those of you that don't know, I have a 32 year old son named Broc and he is gay.  
 People ask me all the time "when did you realize that he was gay" and my answer is that somehow [deep down inside] I always knew.  Of course, the "tell tell signs" were not really that obvious until he was about 2 years old.  He was always wanting to play with dolls and play with makeup and play dress-up, but one day he had spent the night with my mother-in-law [that's her with Broc in the photo above] and she took him to daycare the next morning.  When I went to pick him up that afternoon, here he came running out with a giant gold purse that was filled with old makeup, old jewelry and his beloved ninja turtles.  That's when I "knew".  So when people try to say that gay people "choose" to be gay, I have a huge argument for them.  Until you have a child that is gay, only then will you realize that they are "born that way".  As a mother, I guess you could say that I would have preferred that he be straight, but only for my own selfish reasons...having grandchildren.  But, I certainly would not have wanted him to "change" simply because of what the Bible says he "shouldn't be".  He was raised catholic, went to church every Sunday and Wednesday and certainly was not "encouraged" to be gay.  He was raised to believe that "Jesus Loves Him" no matter what and I wouldn't trade him for anything.  He's the best son a mother could possibly hope for and I love him more than words can ever say.  Somebody even said once that I should have taken him in for therapy when he wanted to carry a purse all the time.  And my answer for that is "all men that carry purses are not gay".  Also, therapy would have just confused him that much more.  So if you have a child that you think may be gay, just make sure you love them with all of your heart and support them with everything they go through.  It was a huge struggle for Broc when he was a teenager, mentally, physically and most of all spiritually, because of what he had been taught in the bible.  He was convinced that he was going to hell because of these feelings he had that could no longer be ignored.  But he got through it, "we" got through it, even with all of the bullying.  He even changed schools in his senior year and met some new lifelong friends.  Adults really don't realize how dramatic it is for a child, when all they think about is "what will people think".  Be careful what you say in front of children...hate breeds hate and I've seen way to much of it lately.  The bible also teaches us to love one another and to treat people like you would want to be treated yourself.  Seize the day!!! 

Happy Thursday!!

love & peace always ~ Kathy

"Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?" ~ Ernest Gaines


  1. I, too, have loved Broc since the day I learned I was going to be an 'Aunt'.. To me, he is more than my nephew! He is the son I never had and I take great pride to share in his colorful awesome life! Broc has never ceased to be his own person... 'gayness' or not!
    I truly beleive that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.. Jesus loves the little children and the big ones too! God don't like ugly and it's MY LIFE! Not someone else's decision..
    If any of you know my story, there could be many reasons why my reaction to this could go WAY out there!
    It is your life Baby Boy!! I love how you live it :-))

  2. One of my aunts has 3 sons and 2 are gay...this quote came from her eldest who is an amazing man, pianist and human being!

    "LOVES each and every person he LOVES, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, or ANY potentially derisive factor, because LOVE is so blessedly blind to these distinctions. Let's just allow marriage to be a proclamation and consummation of LOVE, unbiased and untarnished by the ridicule born of any two opposing distinctions or traditions. LOVE isn't religious or political. LOVE just happens, and it's beautiful."

    I am proud of my cousins and my aunt and uncle who love unconditionally and fight not only for their sons' rights, but everyones'!

  3. We are all human. We are all connected. We all deserve to be loved. Have a beautiful weekend!

  4. Hi Kathy - I guess I was meant to run into this today. I was stunned to see that NC, a place to which I'd like to move, had taken this stance with human "rights". I have known many a gay couple or person. The goodness of a person will never be defined by their sexual preference and I sure hope God has room for all of us - or I'm not sure I want to be there either some day. Bravo Mom - carry on!

    Sharon Driscoll


Thanks for your comments ~ ♥